|Title: Aching Hearts
||21 Sep 2014 5:28 pm
|Reviewer: Chapter 44 (Anonymous)
I think you are writing too many stories at once. Earlier you said Ghost decided not to wed, because he was too devoted to his craft. Now you talk about a pregnant wife of his who died. And you mentioned someone named Joe in this chapter, and there is no mention of Joe anywhere else in this series. Third inconsistency: You have Snape's raven be very critical of Lily, but we already found out through Mad Marlene's comments to Harry at the house, and her comments at her own trial, that Lily had been made to forget Snape.
The character of Joe is in another story NOT posted here that goes with the series and is posted on ff.net called Remembrance. Since it's a Severus ONLY story and not Severus and Harry I could not post it here. There's also another story called Raven's Choice that is not on here for the same reason. I forgot I hadn't posted that story on here as ff.net is the main place I post things and would hav explained that Joe was Severus' mentor duriing his stint at the College of Potions to become a Potions Master. Just because Lily was made to forget she loved Snape doesn't excuse her actions towards him when she married Potter and humiliated Severus into the bargain by doing so. Skull simply states her choice was wrong and Potter was unworthy of her and Sev, as always is defensive of her. There is no inconsistency in that.
Ghost was talking in the previous chapter about another woman that he almost married . . .Aria and he didn't marry her because he felt he shouldn't . . .but Anne he did so I'm not confused. They are two different people and he later tells Harry that Anne and he were married in the old way . . .but she died.